Smile

For whether or not there were any unsaid implications,
or feelings of NECESSITY in order to act,
what you did had enticed me to smile
(inwardly, so I wouldn't seem like a dork).

I thank you for that, most ardently.

Gyspy

You've heralded me
"The Sojourner,"
doomed to transient fame.
Every situation calls for
miniscule feats--
tiny success stories that
I hold so dear
with such fleeting promise.

Call me
Wilted Tulip
or Decomposing Flesh;
something that was once
lavishly assumed and consumed;
decadently spoiled and cooed.

just glide over me its average and dont bother with words or structure your eyes are enough i can tell.

im just as useful as potting soil and perhaps a decorative fern: no distinct attraction no immediate appeal.

im just there really and theres nothing to remember me by so its okay to forget and its okay to acknowledge that

yes, yes i am no different than that one girl with that one possible hairdo that just passed you by.

but you see, you forgot about that already.

- - -


It goes like this:
I am that $5 sweater on clearance,
in the back of a lonely Mervyn's;
a drab cardigan with a
pallid sickly peach color
(so carefully matching,
with the wall that is)
that was out of season
five months ago.

Drag me

That was a sympathy drag;
a sympathetic sorry drag,
of what intent? I've no clue.

You kinda got me hoping, too.
That things were all right.

But you seem to forget--
(Oh, I get it now. It's because of your...
You Know. "This and That.")

I'm really just the average jane,
so plain that my name can't afford
any exotic letters or characters.

My real name seems all right.
But there's nothing else going for me, it seems.
And I guess that's it.

anticipatory socialization - learning that helps a person achieve a desired position (changing yourself so you can fit in)

resocialization - radically changing an inmate's personality by carefully controlling the environment

presentation of self - a person's efforts to create specific impressions in the minds of others (making the impression you want people to have of you)

fuck,

my

vanity.

words

-panacea: a supposed cure-all.
-impute: to attribute a bad action or quality to somebody

DNA strings weigh me down

DNA strings weigh me down:
An Anchor in the blue
abyss of nothingness,
except conniving grudges
that stack up (like sand sediments
crinkled over the ages).
Never again can I
wobble to the consent
of my indecisive curiosity.
There is no such thing as
a liberty to concede to;
only stillness (as instilled by Nature
and sojourn faith), that
dictates everything.
Oh Tyranny; I balk at the thought.
Yet my heart is charcoaled, and crispy.

hospital notes and things i want to remember

- apheresis cell separation
- nurse ramone
- j. salazar
- the beauties of montana
- the purpose of "sitters"
- my idea for "the hospital room." drawing/poem

words, part deux

- balk: refuse to proceed; stop short; defeat
- conniving: to conspire
- sojourn: temporary stay / sojourner: a temporary resident
- barrio: part of a u.s. city largely populated by spanish-speaking community